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On Compunction and Tears
The ever memorable hegumen of Dionysiou, Archimandrite Gabriel, used to say
that the monk Gerontios, who was the typikaris1 at St. Panteleimon, spent
most of his time day and night in the church, with compunction as his
constant companion. All of his free time was spent in the narthex, using his
left hand to do his prayer | rope and his right to wipe away the tears which
were streaming down his face. For this he used a cloth which he would wash
in the sea.
He came originally from Kydonia in Asia Minor where | he had killed a Turk
who was assaulting a young Christian woman. No one knows whether or not he
meant to kill him while he was wrestling with him. Ever since that event,
Monk Gerontios had lived in the Russian monastery quietly and peacefully,
more harmless than a lamb.
In 1911, on the Friday of the fifth week of Lent, the novice Dionysios
(later to become Hegumen Gabriel) was in the Russikon church during Orthros
of the Great Canon, which takes place there as a vigil. That mystagogical
service remained unforgettable in his heart. He saw, he says, "as in a
vision," the venerable elder Gerontios wiping his tears while chanting,
"Where can I begin to lament for the deeds of my
miserable life?" And when he chanted the ode's last Theotokion, his heart
was at such a height of compunction that, lifting his hands towards her holy
face with tear-filled eyes and the familiarity of a
son he chanted, "Panagia, the hope of those who pray to you with great
emotion: lift the heavy yoke of my sins from me."
When this ever memorable elder started to read the biography of St. Mary of
Egypt, Hegumen Gabriel continued, it was a unique and unforgettable scene of
fifty or more elder monks, Russian speaking, who were gathered closely
together around the typikaris' analogion, some of them kneeling, and others,
very old, sitting on the floor with crossed legs, listening without blinking
an eye which was focused on the typikaris' lips, not understanding a lot, I
thought, but captivated by the reader's compunction and his wonderful manner
of reading. As he kept on reading with unsurpassed emotion, the warmth in
his voice increased and his inner spiritual contrition became more and more
apparent . . . and as he reached that great emotional point of the dialogue
between Father Zosimas and St. Maria, the one asking 'tell me, holy woman of
God' and her answering Abba Zosimas ....', the sweet elder was unable to
control himself from bursting with emotion. He broke down into uncontrolled
sobbing and tears, thus spreading this emotion to the entire congregation.
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"You cultivated with your outpouring of tears the barren desert of St. Basil
and the Karmilion peak, and you became a luminary, our father Gerasimos."
Indeed hesychastic elder Gerasimos became a champion labourer of tears and a
transmitter of light with noetic prayer. For seventeen years he did his
ascetic labours on the Karmilion peak of Prophet Elias, west of Kerasia,
beneath Athos' peak. It was an heroic existence, battling constantly against
nature's elements — wind, thunder and lightening, rain and snow — and
against the full guile of demons. He slept in the Lord at the age of ninety.
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An elder said: "A heart cleanses itself with a sigh in response to God's
grace. We should soak our soul in tears; but one deep, painful sigh is equal
to two basketsful of tears."
There were monks who lit the oil lamps in St. Anne's skete, and in the
cenobion, who during their sacred obedience before the holy icons had eyes
brimming with tears.
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: He came to the Holy Mountain from Cyprus. He was known for his cleansed
mind and simple heart. He was graced with tearful prayers and a hesychastic
life. He would leave his meal to withdraw into his cell in order to weep.
Such was Elder Dionsios of St. Anne's.
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The eyes of the Russian hermit Father Tychon were always full of tears. He
would wipe them constantly with a wet handkerchief which he carried always
in his hand. His stole was usually damp with tears, and the wooden cross he
used to bless with, was worn out. He would often say that we ought to wash
Jesus' feet with our tears all the days of our lives, and wipe them with our
hair while prostrating ourselves before Him. In his own cell, the wooden
cross before which he prayed was soaked with his tears.
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Father Daniel, the hesychast who lived in St. Peter's G celebrated the
liturgy daily for sixty years, using the liturgy of St. Basil in order to
experience the service more intensely. He had such compunction that he
always soaked the ground with his tears. And immediately afterwards he
would'.' draw in solitude so that he might not lose his compunction.
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Of strong constitution and called "the Faster," Andreas ascetic from St.
Anne had come originally from Epiros was robust and rugged. Full of love, he
was always eager help and comfort those who were climbing up the hill
CARrying a heavy load from the shore to the monastery 'scrub; He lacked
formal education, but he has God's wisdom; he was granted the gift of pure,
ceaseless prayer. He prayed continually to the Theotokos, shedding rivers
compunction ate tears, full of heavenly love.
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